Balancing work and fertility treatment

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For instance, it can feel overwhelming when you have to manage multiple appointments – including tests, scans and procedures – alongside a busy work schedule. Below, we explore common patient experiences when navigating a career as well as fertility treatment, along with advice from our counsellors to help you manage this balancing act.

To tell or not to tell

Some people find it easier to communicate with their workplace manager about their upcoming fertility treatment so that they can negotiate time off or flexible working arrangements when beginning a treatment cycle. Being upfront and open about what is required of you throughout your fertility treatment journey can help you and your manager plan around the quantity of work you can do, along with arrangements to suit your treatment schedule, such as reduced travel, flexible hours or the option to work from home if needed.

Unfortunately, there are instances where workplaces are not supportive of their employees, and women choose to withhold their family-building plans from their workplace for fear of discrimination or missing out on opportunities due to future pregnancy. If you elect not to disclose your fertility treatment with your workplace, have a plan in place to help you manage your scheduled appointments, including time off work for your procedures. Without going into the specific details, you may consider disclosing that you are ‘having a medical procedure’ and leave it at that.

Managing questions

Having your colleagues ask questions about your fertility or why you’ve had time off lately is a common experience for many of our patients. Some people are inherently curious about your family-building plans even though it isn’t necessarily their business. Just as you may be doing with family and friends, you might consider having a plan to manage these questions. For instance, coming up with some standard responses can be a good trick to have up your sleeve so that you can reply promptly and nip that curiosity in the bud.

If you’ve already opened up to others about your infertility, you might find yourself fielding questions. For instance, there may be interest about when you’re starting treatment or how far along you are in your treatment cycle, along with how you’re feeling and whether you’re pregnant yet. While these questions are often well-intended and come from a good place, sometimes they are misplaced or poorly timed.

If you have told others about your fertility treatment journey, consider setting boundaries with them from the start – let them know that you will update them when you have news or need their support, and kindly ask them to give you space during this time. For many patients, the workplace can serve as a place to remain busy and distracted, so being interrupted with questions related to your fertility treatment can impinge on your ability to distract yourself.

Should I take leave?

Patients often ask us for advice on whether they should take a few days or weeks off work during their treatment. In our experience, this decision is highly individual and often determined by whether it is financially viable for you to do so or if you have enough annual leave accrued to facilitate this.

During our counselling sessions, we also discuss whether it is helpful to maintain a normal routine. On one hand, sticking to your routine can give you a sense of normalcy and preserve your emotional health and wellbeing. Meanwhile, extended leave from work may leave you feeling like you have too much time on your hands, causing you to ruminate on your treatment. On the other hand, if you find that work is exacerbating your distress about your fertility journey, perhaps it’s worth considering a few days of planned leave or working from home during the more stressful periods of your treatment cycle.

We generally advise patients to take a day off work on the day of egg collection (and likely the next day). While there is a lesser need to do so for intrauterine insemination (IUI) and embryo transfers, it can be an opportunity for you to have a day off to do something enjoyable and celebrate. After all, you may have just made a baby! Taking sick leave for these days is how most patients manage their treatment, and you will be given a medical certificate on the day of your procedure to accommodate this.

Self-care at work

Some patients have found that they are less engaged and ‘switched on’ at work while undertaking fertility treatment or that they are falling short of their usual high standards. In these instances, it’s important to remind yourself that your medications (which mimic your body’s hormones) and the potential stress of fertility issues can affect how you function at work. You also may find that your focus shifts away from work and towards the practical and emotional demands of fertility treatment.

Making your work a lesser priority can feel strange and uncomfortable, particularly if you have a strong work ethic. It may take some time to adjust to these new feelings, so be kind to yourself in this space – and be mindful of the pressure you place on yourself at work. Consider lowering the expectations you have for yourself. You don’t always need to function at 100% capacity.

You may find that telling a trusted colleague about your treatment can help provide you with emotional support and practical help when dealing with these feelings. Perhaps even consider devising strategies for when you’re feeling under pressure, such as leaving your office for a walk, practising mindfulness or breathing exercises, talking to your support person or a friend, or even leaving work early.

Our counselling team is here to help

The Newlife IVF counsellors are very experienced in providing support during and after IVF treatment. If you would like to book an appointment with one of our counsellors, please do not hesitate to contact us. You can reach our team by calling (03) 8080 8933. And to make things easy for you, we are more than happy to talk with you over the phone, so you don’t have to take more time off work.

R U OK? – feeling supported during your fertility journey

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It’s easy to become distracted by the hustle and bustle of daily life, to the extent that you may forget to regularly check in with your loved ones. R U OK? Day promotes awareness of the importance of community and connection for mental wellbeing. It encourages you to slow down and pay attention to the cues and behaviours of people around you who may not be in a healthy headspace. Additionally, R U OK? Day can inspire you to connect with others in a more meaningful way, building social bonds and healthy relationships.

It’s OK to not feel ‘OK’

Experiencing a spectrum of emotions is part of your basic human nature. Despite this, society often imposes restrictive views about emotional health. It’s common for feelings such as anger or sadness to be viewed with negativity, while joy or contentment are seen as ‘healthy’.

Your emotional responses have an important use, providing you with information about your lived experiences – both past and present. For instance, emotions can be a signal that you’re overextended and need support, or they can help you identify when something in your life needs to change. Recognising this is an important part of self-reflection and personal development. Therefore, remind yourself that it’s OK to not feel ‘OK’ from time to time.

Got a feeling that someone you know is struggling?

Start a conversation – encourage your friends, family and colleagues to talk about their situation. Ask them questions such as ‘how are you going?’ or ‘what’s been happening?’ If someone speaks openly about the emotional hardships they are experiencing, including sadness, depression or anxiety, listen to them with an open mind, free of judgement. Sometimes, providing an empathetic ear is more beneficial than being solution-focused, as this acknowledges and validates how the person is feeling.

You may also consider asking if there is anything you can do to help. However, be mindful that some conversations are too big for family and friends to take on alone. In instances such as these, where the person appears to be at risk, encourage them to contact a health professional – or offer your help to find the right person for them to talk to.

Our support network is here to help

For many of us, the answer to ‘R U OK?’ is neither yes nor no, but rather ‘sometimes.’ For people undergoing fertility treatment, feeling anger and sadness is often as much a part of the journey as experiencing hope and resilience. All of this is OK.

Remember that our counsellors are here to support you, so please reach out to the team if you would like to talk. Whatever you are feeling in the lead-up to this day, we are thinking of you and sending our best wishes.

My fertility journey – tips for managing conversations with family and friends

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Fielding questions

Parents, siblings, friends and colleagues can be constant reminders of your fertility issues, particularly when they ask that question: “When are you having a baby?” Having a few pre-prepared responses up your sleeve can help take the spotlight off if you find yourself in this situation. These can be blunt and honest, a bit cheeky, or even vague – it all depends on what you’re comfortable with and who’s asking the question. Here’s a list of some of the things you might want to say:

– “Trust me, we’ve been trying!”
– “Thanks for asking, but it’s really none of your business.”
– “Why, do you want to give me one of your kids?”
– “As soon as I figure out how…”
– “We have been trying but are struggling to fall pregnant. I’d rather not talk about it as it is quite a sensitive subject.”

Managing other people’s expectations

Patients undergoing assisted reproductive treatment often find that their family and close friends have assumptions about success and outcomes. Unfortunately, this can leave you managing not only your own expectations but also those of the people around you.

Typically, your family and friends won’t have a great understanding of infertility, its causes and its treatment options. Once you’ve seen your fertility specialist, nurse and counsellor, you will have more knowledge about your situation and treatment plan – so take some time to educate others about what you’ve learnt. Providing this information to your supports can help them keep their expectations in check. This way, they will be able to give you the support you need and not the other way around.

One tip we frequently recommend is to establish boundaries with your support network early. Let them know that you appreciate their love and care during this tricky time but would rather update them when you have news to give instead of answering lots of questions. Some couples even tell their loved ones that no news is bad news. This way they don’t have to update every single person if a disappointing outcome occurs.

Attending social events

Being invited to certain social events can trigger mixed emotions for many people undergoing assisted reproductive treatment. For example, whilst you may feel happy that your friend had a baby, it can also cause very painful feelings of grief and loss. It’s okay to decline invitations to baby showers, birthdays and family gatherings, particularly during the times of your treatment where you feel most vulnerable. There is a difference between self-care and selfish, and prioritising your own needs is especially important when you are trying to have a baby. It may feel uncomfortable at times to say no but try to stay firm and uphold your boundaries if you can. You don’t need to provide a reason for not attending – “I’m sorry I/we can’t make it” is enough.

This doesn’t mean you won’t attend a social event again. Whether you decide to go or not will usually depend on the timing of your treatment or how you’re feeling at the time. Socialising can benefit your emotional health and wellbeing, so instead of cutting all social ties, you might choose to limit the number or type of events you attend.

Talking about your needs

Communicating to your family and friends how they can help and support you during your fertility treatment has its benefits. Most people will want to understand what your needs are, as they may feel stuck or unsure about what the right thing to say or do is. They may even avoid you out of fear of causing offence or making things awkward.

For some of you, this might mean asking a family member to check in with you every few days. For others, it may involve asking for time and space to work through things on your own first. You could even ask your support people to do something nice with you, like popping out for a coffee or going for a walk. If you prefer practical support over emotional support, you can always ask them to give you a lift to your scan or help out with some freezer meals so cooking is one less thing you have to worry about. Whatever your needs are, own them! There is no right or wrong here.

Finding ways to de-stress

Handling conversations about your fertility can be stressful at times. It’s important to allocate enough time to yourself for activities that help take the heat off. This could be as simple as taking a walk, getting stuck into some exercise, or even letting a good book or film distract you. Healthy habits that lift your mood and help you relax are a wonderful way to alleviate stress associated with fertility treatment.

Added support

Assisted reproductive treatment can be a time of stress and heightened emotions. While having your family and friends around you can be key in helping you to cope with this, remember that this is also a time to prioritise yourself. Be your own advocate in this space, communicate your needs and be brave.

If you need a hand navigating the highs and lows of your fertility journey, our fertility counsellors are here to help. You can make an appointment with Sarah, Laura or Kellie by calling Newlife IVF on (03) 8080 8933.

Secondary infertility – when baby #2 (or 3 or 4 …) doesn’t come easily

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Secondary infertility, defined as the inability to conceive despite having conceived in the past, affects approximately 10% of women.1 It is different from primary infertility, which is when a woman who has never conceived before struggles to fall pregnant.

Secondary infertility can produce similar heartache to primary infertility, especially if you feel your family is not yet complete, you want to provide your children with a sibling, or you long for the son or daughter you don’t yet have. It’s important to recognise that your feelings and concerns are valid, and shouldn’t be brushed aside simply because you already have one or more children – you are equally deserving of seeking help to achieve a second or subsequent child, as are a woman or couple yet to have any children.

What causes secondary infertility?

There are a number of factors that are commonly associated with secondary infertility. These include:

Age

It’s common knowledge that women have a ‘biological clock’ – that is, the age-related decline in a woman’s fertility, due to a decrease in the number and quality of her eggs. This decline accelerates once a woman hits 35. Given that a woman is usually older when planning subsequent pregnancies, her increasing age can be a significant contributing factor to any difficulty she is experiencing second (or third or fourth …) time round. This is particularly true nowadays due to the societal trend towards older age at first pregnancy, meaning women can be well over 35 when they are ready to start trying for another child. For men, there is also a gradual age-related fertility decline from the age of 40, even if their sperm count is reported as normal.

Lifestyle

Successful conception requires unprotected sexual intercourse to occur at the right time – around the time of ovulation, when an egg is released from the ovaries. Consequently, unprotected sex every one to two days during this ‘fertile window’ each month provides the best chance of falling pregnant. However, with one or more young children to take care of, maintaining regular sexual intercourse, let alone doing it at the ‘right’ time, can be difficult. Further, you may not be taking care of yourself as well as you usually would, as you put the needs of your little one/s first. A good diet and regular exercise can fall by the wayside for mums of busy toddlers. This, combined with potential weight gain, can also contribute to sub-optimal fertility at this time of life.

Complication from a prior pregnancy or delivery

Scar tissue can sometimes form inside the uterus (womb) or cervix. This may be an issue if you have ever had a procedure called a dilatation and curettage (D&C) to remove tissue from the uterus due to a miscarriage or retained placenta after a previous birth. Although uncommon, the presence of scar tissue can prevent a pregnancy. However, it can usually be removed via a simple procedure called a hysteroscopy.

Secondary infertility can also be caused by many of the same factors that cause primary infertility. For women, this includes ‘structural’ disorders that may be affecting the health of your reproductive organs (e.g. endometriosis, fibroids, polyps), as well as hormonal disorders like polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and thyroid disease. Thus, a full check-up with your gynaecologist is a good first step if your next pregnancy isn’t coming as quickly as you would like or expect.

What should I do if I’m experiencing secondary infertility?

The advice for those experiencing secondary infertility is the same as for those experiencing primary infertility. If you are under 35, seek help after 12 months of trying. If you are over 35, seek help after 6 months of trying. Depending on your circumstances, fertility treatment may be as simple as ovulation tracking and fertility optimisation through lifestyle changes. For advice specific to you, you can make an appointment with one of our fertility specialists by calling Newlife IVF on (03) 8080 8933 or by booking online via our appointments page.

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Further reading

 

Reference
  1.  Mascarenhas et al. PLoS Med. 2012;9(12):e1001356. ↩

Sperm donation – separating fact from fiction

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Wanted: a few good men!

As a growing number of single women make the decision to embark on solo parenting, lesbian couples embrace techniques like artificial insemination and IVF to help them have a family, and fertility issues become more common for heterosexual couples who meet and marry later in life, there’s never been a more appropriate time for Australian men to donate their sperm.

However, despite a clear need for more donor sperm, there’s still a lot of myths around sperm donation, and understandably, men are often hesitant to put themselves forward. Here, we explore the truth behind the most common misconceptions to help overcome some of the fears men may have about becoming a donor.

“Gay men can’t donate sperm.”

A gay man can donate sperm just like any other healthy male. In Australia, sexual orientation plays no part in deciding whether or not you can become a sperm donor (admittedly, this is a clear contrast to the policies of some international sperm banks). Unfortunately, because men who have sex with men are prevented from donating blood – due to a perceived increased risk of sexually transmitted diseases – some people assume that gay men can’t donate sperm either. However, that’s simply not the case and here in Australia, gay men have actually been credited for increasing the availability of donor sperm.

The fact is, all sperm donors – no matter their sexual orientation – are screened for infectious diseases before their sperm is cleared for use. This includes blood tests at the time of donation and again at 3 months. Sperm is only made available to potential recipients after both sets of blood tests have been given the all clear (this is why donor sperm is not used straightaway but quarantined for 3 months).  Simply put, sexual orientation doesn’t form part of the eligibility criteria for sperm donors and is irrelevant to your ability to donate. Whether you’re gay, bi or straight, your intent is exactly the same – to give in order to help others in need.

“My sperm could be used to make hundreds of children.”

You may have come across news stories about men abroad who have fathered many, many children through sperm donation (some well into the double figures!). However, Australian law simply does not permit this. In Victoria, sperm from a single donor is only allowed to be used by a maximum of 10 different patients or ‘families’. This effectively limits the number of potential children that can be conceived by any one donor.

On the other hand, there is no limit to the number of children that can be born from the same sperm donor within each of these families. This gives families the opportunity to bear siblings who are genetically related. So if a recipient has success with your sperm, they may choose to use your sperm again in the future when trying for baby #2 or 3 in order to give their child a biologically-related brother or sister.

But it’s also important to realise that your sperm may never be used or may only be used once or twice. If it is used, there is also no guarantee that the process of assisted conception (e.g. IVF or IUI) will be successful for the recipient, i.e. a child may not result every time your sperm is used. Further, the semen we collect from you may also not ‘stretch’ to ten different families. This, along with unsuccessful IVF attempts, is why we like donors to provide a few sperm samples over time.

“If you donate sperm, you’ll have children showing up on your doorstep for years to come.”

The Victorian government was one of the first to query the ethical implications of the secrecy surrounding sperm donorship. As such, current legislation states that a donor-conceived person can request identifying information about their donor once they turn 18. This loss of guaranteed anonymity is one of the main reasons why the number of sperm donors has dropped over recent decades. However, although a donor-conceived child has the option of getting in touch with you once they are an adult, this doesn’t necessarily mean they will do so. Some children may not know they are donor-conceived while others will simply have no inclination to reach out.

If a child conceived from your sperm does choose to get in contact with you, you still have no legal, financial or parental responsibilities to that child. However, you may find that you are happy to build and maintain a relationship with them. In this case, you can discuss and agree together the extent of any future contact, in line with what you both feel comfortable with.

“If you’re a sperm donor, you’re a father of all the children who are born.”

When you donate your sperm, it provides the biological means to create a baby only. Men who donate sperm anonymously through a registered sperm bank are not legally or financially responsible for any child born from their sperm. Sperm donor recipients (i.e. the mum and dad to be) must also receive counselling to ensure mutual understanding of your rights as a donor. Put simply, you are just the sperm donor, not the Dad. And we make sure that everyone involved knows that they do not have the right to ask or expect you to be anything more than that.

“Only good-looking men’s sperm will be used”

Don’t think your sperm will be wanted? Think again! The reality is that recipients often have their own ideas of the ‘dream’ sperm donor. And this could be you! When it comes to donor selection, your physical attributes (e.g. blue eyes, brown hair, height) are listed but photos are never provided. More often than not, recipients will choose a donor based on other information provided, including your age, medical history, hobbies/interests, ethnic background, and reason for donating. For example, we know one woman who chose her donor based on the fact that he (like herself) had a penchant for trivia, a trait she hoped would be passed on to her future child!

The fact is, the most important attribute of any sperm bank is variety, thereby enabling choice. That’s why we welcome donors from a wide range of nationalities, cultures, professions, and stages and ages of life. This ensures that women and couples have the opportunity to choose a donor that aligns with their personal preferences, particularly if bearing a child with a clear physical resemblance or from a certain ethnic background (e.g. Asian, Anglosaxon) is important to them.

Donate life, change lives with Newlife IVF

Newlife IVF loves hearing from new sperm donors – single men, fathers, gay individuals or couples. Come one, come all! If you have been thinking about becoming a donor but haven’t yet taken the next step, please call us on (03) 8080 8933 or email [email protected] so we can give you all the facts and get your swimmers to those who need it sooner rather than later!

Further reading

Infertility, IVF and the festive season

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This post was contributed by Laura Oliver, one of Newlife IVF’s counsellors. 

Christmas often symbolises a time of joy and happiness. We plan celebratory events with family and friends, and take time to reflect on the end of another year. But this time of year can also be very difficult for women and couples who have been struggling with infertility and going through assisted reproductive treatment (ART) like IVF.

The focus at Christmas time is often on children and families, with Christmas cards and social media posts typically displaying pictures of family events or children with Santa. There can be a real sense of pressure to deliver good news at a time of year when many people are celebrating. However, if you’ve been struggling to fall pregnant or undergoing fertility treatment, the end of the year can serve as a painful marker that you have not achieved what you had hoped for this year, and for some of you, a reminder that yet another 12 months have gone by without a successful outcome.

All of this can bring up unwanted feelings of sadness, frustration, jealousy, anger and grief – and with a barrage of festive mementos and occasions around you to remind you that you’re not pregnant, it’s no wonder you feel this way!

Below are some tips on how you can manage the festive season while coping with fertility issues and undergoing treatment.

Be selective

Pre-plan and be selective about which events you attend at this time of year. If you do attend an event, consider how long to stay there for, and what you can do while there to minimise any feelings of stress or discomfort – for example, helping cook or wash up can help keep you busy and distracted, and may assist you to avoid topics of conversation you don’t want to be involved in.

Warn people in advance that you may find Christmas difficult – this doesn’t mean having to disclose information about your fertility; you can make more general references to having had a stressful or difficult year instead. Try to give your hosts time to understand that this year might look a little different for you, and to not be offended if you decide not to attend or only stay for a short while.

If you have a partner or a support person with you, plan a code word or signal to give when you need them to rescue you from a difficult conversation, or when you want to wind up and go home.

Celebrate

Celebrate how you want. Sometimes, this might feel a little selfish at a time when there are often traditions to uphold or family events to attend, but give yourself permission to celebrate in a way that is comfortable and meaningful to you at this time.

This could mean going away with a friend or just your partner (or staying home) and avoiding big family gatherings. Or starting a new tradition for this time of year. Do something that you know will bring you joy, no matter how small.

Re-charge

Use some of this holiday period to re-charge and take a break from treatment (if you feel you can). Take advantage of your time off work and prioritise self-care – pamper yourself! Get a massage, go away for a few days, plan some day trips to the beach or the countryside, or curl up with a good book.

Reflect

Take some time to reflect on your IVF journey so far, and perhaps think about your plans for treatment moving forward. Is there anything you could do differently next year? What are your expectations, and do you need to adjust these at all? Do you have questions to discuss with your specialist? Perhaps even think about how much longer you think you can continue with IVF treatment before needing to pause and reassess again.

Reflect on your own, with your partner (if you have one) or a support person. You could try using a journal to write down how you’re feeling, record the questions you may have, or come up with a list of pros and cons to aid future decision-making.

Ask for help

Use your supports (partner, family, friends) to help you work through any difficult feelings as they arise. Be open and honest with your networks about how you feel and the ways in which they can be of support to you. Be reassured that the way you are feeling, and the different types of emotions and thoughts that may be triggered at this time of year, are very normal. But we all cope in different ways, so make sure you do whatever it is you need to do to keep your heart, mind and body strong for the year to come. And above all else, remember to be kind to yourself!

Lastly, remember that the Newlife IVF counselling team is here to help. We can help you navigate and unpack your experiences and emotions. If you feel that you could benefit from the support of our counselling team, please call the Newlife IVF team on (03) 8080 8933.

“So, when are you having a baby?”

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If you’re finding yourself in this situation more and more, it can be helpful to think ahead about how you and your partner (if you have one) might respond. By considering what information you are willing to share with others and who you are happy to share this information with, you’re less likely to feel at sixes and sevens when people raise this topic with you.

And if you do find yourself put on the spot, humour can be a great form of defence. Along these lines, we did some asking around and here are some serious and not-so-serious responses our patients reported giving when they had been confronted with this question in the past:

  • “I don’t know, but I’m starting on my list of free babysitters now. Can I put your name down?”
  • “As soon as I figure out how. Have you got any suggestions?”
  • “I knew there was something I’d forgotten to do!”
  • “I have a cat/dog – that’s enough responsibility for now.”
  • “I don’t know but wouldn’t it be nice if it was sooner rather than later!”
  • “Oh, we’re trying. Every day and twice on Sundays, since you ask.”
  • “We’re focusing on our careers for the next little while, then we’ll think about kids.”
  • “We’d love to have a baby but for whatever reason, it’s not happening for us yet. In the meantime, I’d prefer if you didn’t keep asking me about it. But we’ll be sure to shout it from the rooftops as soon as we are.”
  • “I’m sorry but that’s quite a sensitive issue for me/us. I’d rather not talk about it if that’s okay.”

We also asked these patients what they had found most helpful in terms of dealing with the emotions that these kinds of conversations can trigger. Here are some of their suggestions:

Allow yourself 15 minutes to dwell, then let it go

A common strategy for dealing with any stressful event is to put a time limit on how long you allow yourself to dwell or perseverate on what has happened. So, if you find yourself in this situation, set the timer on your phone for 5, 10 or 15 minutes – whatever you think is reasonable. But when the alarm goes off, do a Taylor Swift and commit to ‘shake it off’. If it helps, give your brain a physical cue to move on and think about something else: push the thoughts away with your hands, vigorously shake your head free of its thoughts, brush the load off your shoulders, dance off the negative vibes around the kitchen bench – then get on with your day.

Use the art of distraction

Distraction is a wonderful way to quickly shift negative or unpleasant thoughts. Immerse yourself in a jigsaw puzzle, watch a movie, try a new recipe, read a book – the task can be joyful or meditative or intensely difficult. It just needs to take you out of the present and transport you to a different place for a little while. This will give you some time out from your thoughts and help you to focus your mind elsewhere.

Find an outlet

Physically, emotions can leave us feeling uptight and strung out. Exercising is a great way to release some of the physical tension and reboot your energy. It also has the additional benefit of stimulating the release of feel-good endorphins, helping to lift your mood in a healthy way.

Or you may prefer to seek comfort in a creative outlet instead. If you like writing, keeping a journal can be a great way to process your feelings and document the ups and downs of your fertility journey. You could also use a journal to keep a list of questions you want to ask your doctor – questions that come to mind in the heat of the moment but you then forget when your thoughts and feelings settle down.

Consider opening up

And last but not least, it can be helpful to remember that people who ask you about having a baby are likely to be well-meaning family or friends who have no intention of hurting your feelings. If you are comfortable doing so, you can use this opportunity to open up and talk to them about your experiences – whether it’s the pressure of trying to fall pregnant, the challenge of dealing with a miscarriage or the loneliness of going through the process by yourself. Talking about your journey and its emotional toll can give people a better understanding of what you are going through. As the old adage goes: a problem shared is a problem halved. Being asked this question might just be the best form of therapy.

Help to fall pregnant

If you are struggling to conceive and would like professional advice on the next best steps to take on your fertility journey, you can make an appointment with one of our fertility specialists by calling Newlife IVF on (03) 8080 8933. You can also book online via our appointments page.

You may also find the following information useful:

Mind-body techniques that can help manage stress during your fertility journey

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How is this related to fertility? Individuals and couples dealing with fertility issues typically experience very high levels of stress and anxiety.1 Unfortunately, studies have shown an association between anxiety, elevations in cortisol (your body’s stress hormone) and fertility problems.2  This suggests that the actual stress of infertility may further hinder an individual’s or couple’s chances of conceiving. Mind-body techniques aim to address the mental and emotional wellbeing of an individual or couple trying to conceive and in doing so, help to reduce any role that stress may be playing in preventing them from falling pregnant.

Before I go on to explain some of the more common mind-body techniques, it’s important to be aware that high-quality evidence to support the use of these techniques in the setting of infertility is currently limited. This is because the effects of how we think and feel on our health can be difficult to measure. However, the research that does exist is certainly thought-provoking. There are also many passionate testimonials from individuals and couples who believe these techniques improved their overall health and wellbeing, and contributed to their success in getting pregnant by helping them to cope better with the challenges they were facing. Thus, while these techniques may not directly improve pregnancy rates, fertility specialists often offer them as an adjunct to other treatment in order to help patients/couples better manage the emotional toll and relationship stresses of fertility treatment, including IVF.

Some of the more popular techniques include:

1. Relaxation training

These techniques involve refocusing your attention on something that is calming to help relax the mind and body. There are many ways to achieve this, including breathing exercises, mindfulness, meditation and progressive muscle relaxation. These techniques have been linked to reduced negative emotions in a range of patients, and more specifically, have been shown to reduce levels of anxiety in women undergoing fertility treatment.3 They are a good option because they can be practised almost anywhere and at little or no cost.

2. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a form of psychotherapy (‘talking therapy’) that focuses on how our thoughts influence how we feel and what we do. It involves helping the patient to recognise negative and often repetitive thought patterns like “I can’t have a baby” or “It’s my fault that we aren’t conceiving”, and challenging them. In doing so, it encourages the individual to assess how realistic or rational their thoughts are, to be aware of the impact their thoughts may be having on how they are feeling, and to try and replace these thoughts with more helpful, positive ways of thinking. CBT may not directly change your ability to conceive, but it may help to improve your perspective on the challenges you are facing and your overall outlook, thereby reducing stress and anxiety.4

3. Mindfulness

Mindfulness refers to a state in which we are able to maintain a very clear focus on our present thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment. It teaches us to be ‘in the moment’, so that we are less overwhelmed by past experiences and future concerns. A recent study demonstrated higher rates of pregnancy with IVF when women practised mindfulness, compared to those who did not.5  There is also strong evidence that mindfulness-based stress reduction can lower the levels of stress hormones in our body, and that being ‘more present’ can help a woman to better frame and process her experiences with fertility treatment.6

4. Social support

Infertility is often a silent struggle, and despite its prevalence, many women choose not to share their story with friends or family. If you are experiencing this, it can be helpful to identify someone who can empathise with you and provide a healthy outlet for any confusion and sadness you may be feeling. Social support has been found to be particularly helpful in cases where women are feeling isolated as a result of their infertility. There are now also many organised groups where people with fertility issues can come together to discuss and share their experiences, including face-to-face groups, peer support programs and online discussion forums. There is good evidence that participating in support groups can reduce distress and anxiety, improving both your quality of life and chances of pregnancy.3

5. Exercise

It is well recognised that physical activity can reap huge emotional benefits through the release of ‘feel-good’ hormones called endorphins. These hormones can act as both a pain reliever and happiness booster. Australian guidelines recommend at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity, such as walking or dancing, on most days of the week. If possible, some vigorous exercise, like cycling or running, should be performed at least once a week. Research into the effects of exercise on fertility has found that moderate exercise decreases the risk of miscarriage and increases the chances of conceiving in women undergoing assisted reproductive technology.7 Vigorous exercise has also been shown to reduce the risk of ovulation problems.7 Regular exercise can also lead to weight loss, which can help improve fertility if you are carrying extra weight.8

In conclusion, while further research is clearly needed in this area, using mind-body techniques throughout your fertility journey can certainly contribute to your physical and mental wellbeing as you strive to become pregnant. Here at Newlife IVF, we aim to provide individuals and couples with a genuinely supportive experience as they undergo fertility treatment. Our class-leading IVF counsellors are also available to meet with patients 1:1 and/or in organised group sessions over the course of their treatment journey. To make an appointment with one of our specialists for fertility treatment in Melbourne, call Newlife IVF on (03) 8080 8933. Alternatively, you can book online via our appointments page.

References

  1. Lakatos E et al. BMC Womens Health2017;17:48.
  2. Cwikel J et al. Eur J Obstet Gynecol Reprod Biol2004;117:126–131.
  3. Domar AD et al.Health Psychol 2000;19:568–575.
  4. Faramarzi et al. Int J Fertil Steril 2013;7:199–206.
  5. Li J et al.Behav Res Ther 2016;77:96–104.
  6. Nery SF et al. Stress Health2019;35:49–58.
  7. Homan G, Norman RJ Hum Reprod2012;27:2396–2404.
  8. Best D et al. Hum Reprod Update 2017;26(6):681–705.