Taking time to prepare for Mother’s Day

If you think the day may feel tender, give yourself permission to set kind boundaries. This might look like planning a shorter visit or deciding on a clear arrival and departure time before attending an event.

Wanting to ‘show up’ for others is understandable, but it can be exhausting when you’re already carrying so much. Self-care isn’t selfish. You are allowed to prioritise what you need.

Plan with care

Planning ahead can make the day easier. If it feels supportive, you may want to connect with family and acknowledge the mother figures in your life. However, if the thought of doing so feels too painful and likely to heighten feelings of grief or sadness, it’s also okay to say no to these events.

Additional strategies that may help you manage the day include:

• Preparing a simple response if people ask questions about your fertility journey, so you’re not caught in the moment
• Planning a small ‘aftercare’ moment for later in the day – perhaps a restorative bath, an early night or your favourite meal
• Choosing someone you trust to check in with throughout the day – a person you can text or call when you need to share how you’re feeling
• If attending an event, agree on a signal with your partner indicating that you need to step away
• Reminding yourself that whatever you feel – sadness, anger or even numbness – is valid.

You may prefer to shift the focus and do something nurturing instead – on your own, with your partner or with friends. Consider activities with fewer reminders, like a walk or bike ride, a movie or a quiet meal at home.

Communicate

If it feels right, share how you’re feeling with someone you trust. Talking through a plan for the day with your partner or a close friend can make a real difference – as can letting family know what you do (and don’t) feel up to.

If you’re supporting someone going through fertility treatment, consider checking in beforehand. Asking what they’d prefer to do on the day can ease the pressure and help them feel less alone.

Social media and advertising

Mother’s Day can be hard to escape online and in advertising, and those reminders may feel especially confronting. If you’re finding it difficult, that’s completely understandable.

If it helps, consider reducing your exposure to social media around this time – unsubscribe from marketing emails, opt out of promotional content or plan a social media break on the day.

Personalised support

Please remember our counsellors are here to support you. If you’d like to talk, we encourage you to reach out. Whatever you’re feeling leading up to and during this day is valid, and you don’t have to carry it on your own.